Bean Stalker and Other Hilarious Scary Tales

Photo credit Scholastic

Bean Stalker and Other Hilarious Scary Tales by Kiersten White is fun and Grimm play on some classic fairy tales! The way each fairy tale overlaps against each other and connects makes it a fun magical kingdom that integrates all the fairy tales together, yet they remain separate in their own neighboring kingdoms. This book is both scary and hilarious, hence the title, with some creepy takes on some fairy tales and some making fun of the things that happened within the classic fairy tales. If you love fairy tales or a bit of parody, then this book is for you!

White uses precise vocabulary to enhance the nursery rhymes between each chapter to match the grim hilarity of the other tales and to create a clever play on words within the tales. For example in the classic tale of Rapunzel she uses her fair hair for people to climb into her tower, yet in this version, she uses a fair Herr, which is the German word for Lord. This makes a fun play on words and adds a bit of homophone fun, and the narrator plays with this and tells the reader that this is why spelling is important. White enjoys words and portrays this through the narrator’s explanation of some of the words as well. For example he says “A quandry is sort of like a quarry, if instead of rocks, you mined troubles and problems.” The way White connects the word quarry and quandry is a fun way to utilize the word and use figurative language to connect the meanings, again using a playful spin on words.

The play on words that White utilizes also continues in the way she uses figurative language to enhance the story. For example to enhance the sense of sound White uses the phrase, “The window was open, and from it the voice rang out like a doorbell. Some people have voices like church  bells, but this one was less regal and more ‘come on answer the door come on come on.” This is a fun way to describe a singing voice and really connects the reader to something they have heard before to and enhances the sensory experience for the reader. Not only does White use figurative language to appeal to the senses, she also relates the figurative language to compare to other examples from fairy tales. For example, “Her head felt as heavy as a three-story-long snake and her eyes felt as fuzzy as a pig’s chinny chin chin. When she tried to get up, every muscle screamed like a prince locked in a tower.” This figurative sentiment not only appeals to the senses but makes a connection to the Three Little Pigs, the Fair Herr in one of the Scary-tales, and a prince locked in a tower.

While these two qualities enhance the reading experience, the narrator and his point of views really brought this story together. White has created a narrator that not only tells the stories from a 3rd person point of view, but who also makes connections to himself in the first person and who can address the reader in 2nd person. This is a quality that not many stories have and White does a great job writing in a way that the three points of view flow together seamlessly. When the story gets to him he says, “Goodness, I’m the narrator and even I’m getting confused.” He can also go straight from story to talking to the reader to telling his own thoughts all in one paragraph. Telling the story, he says, “Then he would have known that pea and pee are very different things. Peas really aren’t so bad, you know. Unless you stick them up your nose as a joke to make your parents laugh, and then one gets stuck… I’m, umm not speaking from personal experience or anything. Seriously: DON’T STICK PEAS UP YOUR NOSE. and let’s get back to Jack.”  The way he bounces in and out of the stories really ties all the scary tales together as well as adds additional humor to these tales.

Bean Stalker pulled me right back into my childhood, reading fairy tales and watching the Disney versions of some, such as Snow White. These tales were much more grim or used jokes to make fun of some of the quirks within the stories to add to the satirical humor. For example, when Prince Charring stumbles upon Snow White sleeping in the forest like sleeping beauty, he says, “She’s beautiful!” “And sweet and good,” the hirsute children said sobbing… “Would you like to kiss her?” “I - uh, wow, well. See. I don’t usually go around kissing dead girls in coffins. That’s a bit odd. Also I’m fairly sure it’s against the law…” This shows the ridiculousness of the original tale where the prince just kisses sleeping beauty. I think the parody of this is what I and most kids will connect to the most. I found it entertaining, but mostly a little overly silly for me, but I would recommend it to those who enjoy silly stories or fairy tales. Overall I give it three out of five stars.

White does a good job in Bean Stalker connecting the stories through the see all, know all, narrator and utilizes both an extensive vocabulary, a unique play on words along with figurative language that does engage readers. While there are some good qualities, overall the tales are extra silly. This is a Lone Star book choice in Texas for the older kids, where I think some of the jokes and tales are definitely for older kids, the tone of the tales seems like it would be for younger kids. There will be readers that will love this book and there will be those who aren’t too into it, this book has a very specific audience.

White, K. (2017). Bean Stalker and Other Hilarious Scary Tales. New York: Scholastic.